After a long and challenging lent I find myself at the end of the Easter Tridium and the beginning of the Easter Season. This past week I was able to head back to BC for a Spring Break escape. I left Robbie behind while he toiled away in the depths of Masters studying despair. More of this will continue this week and well into the next week. So if you think of Robbie please send up a prayer for him and his classmates as they tackle this batch of exams.
This past week was a whirlwind of a trip. I bounced from house to house, coffee shop to coffee shop, often thanks to my mother whose vehicle became my main mode of transportation. She is of course lovely company too.
I have in all honesty been lonely these last three months. I have needed more than ever to return to a place that is familiar. In my day to day life in Camrose I am often frozen by fear, the fear of forging a fresh path towards a new friendship.
At the risk of sounding cynical, developing a friendship can be quite tiring. Sometimes it is a strain to talk through your life story. Sometimes sharing your heart comes as easily as your ability to breathe. Sometimes one conversation over coffee is all that it takes to form the deep bond of attachment. Sometimes it takes seeing someone day after day, year after year until one day you realize that that individuals presence is one you cannot go without.
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the beginning of a relationship, these developments take time.
Nicole and I went for a walk yesterday morning and had a nice long chat. We got to enjoy the sunshine and a dog free walk with her two little girls, my lovely nieces. Nic mentioned that she had heard from a great Catholic speaker Matthew Kelly that friendships develop in intimacy when you have the ability to experience carefree timelessness. I see this as time that does not concern itself with tasks or responsibilities. Time that forgets about time itself. This is where I feel like I flourish as a human being. This is where I flourish as a friend. This is where the Spirit and I are in tune with one another.
I love the feeling of being able to dismiss my pressing thoughts and current engagements and make a conscious decision to be present to the person I am with. Maybe this will be my path to holiness. Maybe this will be my path to Sainthood.
For now I will just accept it as a gift that on those rare occasions where it is possible, I will dwell in a space that does not require a ticking clock, but rather the attention of all of my senses in my current surroundings.
This week has given me the renewed sense that I can indeed accomplish this again. Familiar faces have renewed my joy. Family has reminded me of who I am. Easter has given me a perspective on the real purpose of our day to day life. I have regained a hope that was waning. I have reclaimed my gift.
Now the funny thing is that in the dying moments of this evening as I write these words a conversation goes on all around me between the de Fleuriots about the ability to be in the moment, present to one another.
Good night and Happy Easter.